First dates don’t always go well – was the other person tardy? Are they glued to their phone? Too flirty or forward? Did they only talk about themselves?
While these actions are things to avoid, some mistakes are not as obvious. Are you ruining the first date without realizing it? Let’s look at a few ways women may not know they are ruining the first date.
1: dating right after a break-up
Dating too soon is a classic mistake. You’ve just gone through a significant break-up, and your emotions are all over the place.
All your girlfriends are showing support by encouraging you to get yourself out there. Your girlfriends aren’t wrong, but ladies, hear this–no guy wants to be the rebound date.
Whether you two met through OkCupid, mutual friends pushed you together, or if you’re the good-looking women at his regular coffee shop, he’s excited to take you out.
What he is not expecting is to plan a fabulous date for a woman who would rather be there with her last someone. Break-ups are part of life, but they shouldn’t affect your next potential relationship.
If you’ve gone through a serious breakup, make sure to take the necessary time to heal. Dating expert Maddy Moon suggests to “take yourself on dates such as breakfast, yoga, the movies, coffee shops, and wine bars.”
Whether it takes you a month or a year to recover, trust your instincts to tell you when you’re ready to date again.
2: disrespectful to wait staff
This one isn’t about whether you’re the type to tip 10% or 20%—it’s about your character. Men are trying to find confident and mature women to start a relationship with. What’s a better way to show off your savvy confidence than being humble to the staff?
A first date is a great chance to show off your awesome personality. But according to Dr. Seth Meyers, it’s “surprisingly common how frequently a date will be rude to waiters.” Stray away from inappropriate and sometimes uncomfortable comments.
Examples include “what’s taking the kitchen so long?” or “the food here is too spicy.” These comments can be a huge turn-off. Instead, show your excellent character by interacting politely with the wait staff. Compliment their service or the chef’s abilities.
Doing this will show off your genuinely respectful nature. Remember if something goes wrong at the restaurant, it’s not your date’s fault. Most likely, he doesn’t want to dwell on the negatives and instead is trying to get to know you.
3: drink too much wine
A first date is a great chance to show off your awesome personality. But according to Dr. Seth Meyers, it’s “surprisingly common how frequently a date will be rude to waiters.” Stray away from inappropriate and sometimes uncomfortable comments.
Examples include “what’s taking the kitchen so long?” or “the food here is too spicy.” These comments can be a huge turn-off. Instead, show your excellent character by interacting politely with the wait staff. Compliment their service or the chef’s abilities.
Doing this will show off your genuinely respectful nature. Remember if something goes wrong at the restaurant, it’s not your date’s fault. Most likely, he doesn’t want to dwell on the negatives and instead is trying to get to know you.
It’s normal for both men and women to feel anxious about the first date. Unfortunately, all too often these butterflies turn one glass of Kendall-Jackson into three.
Drinking too much to ease your anxiety is a mistake. It may be an attractive option, but let’s be smart here.
Will it improve things?
Men want to feel that first date connection just as much as women do. However, no one feels connected to a loud, intoxicated date whom everyone can hear from across the restaurant.
As this is the first date, men appreciate you keeping a slight guard up. So is staying sober on the first date the best option? Dating expert Evan Katz doesn’t think so. Katz believes alcohol is a natural part of dating. Men prefer women who can drink on a date without becoming sloppy.
Mixing drinking and dating is fun as long as you know your limits.
